


catching bullets in our teeth

by evewithanapple



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evewithanapple/pseuds/evewithanapple
Summary: An ongoing dispute over personal safety; or, how to break a habit of following the leader.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Nile Freeman
Comments: 20
Kudos: 78
Collections: Shipoween 2020 - The Halloween Ship Exchange!





	catching bullets in our teeth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Highsmith (quimtessence)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quimtessence/gifts).



Andy had promised her she could go out ahead in the next mission. Well, “promised” might be an overstatement. She’d suggested it. Claimed it, maybe. Either way, no hearts had been crossed and no Bibles had been sworn on, and Nile is now realizing that she really should have insisted on it at the time, because it turns out: Andromache of Scythia is a _fucking liar_.

(If Nile’s being generous, she might allow that Andy didn’t expect to walk out of the penthouse alive and therefore didn’t think she would ever have to follow through on that promise. Well, too fucking bad, because she _is_ still alive, and Nile plans on doing her best to keep it that way.)

What this means practically is that Andy insists on taking lead on every. single. job they go on. And Nile’s fine with that some of the time, she really is – if they’re burgling an unguarded warehouse full of cocaine, she can dive in headfirst for all Nile cares – but when it comes to situations where they’re actually going face to face with dangerous criminals/mercenaries/ _trained soldiers_ with _guns_ , Nile feels more than a little justified in being pissed. Especially because Andy absolutely refuses to listen to anything Nile has to say on the matter.

“What does she think she’s _doing_?” she grumbles to Nicky after one such job, in which they all took several shots to the torso and Andy was very nearly felled with a lead pipe to the back of her neck; she’d only escaped serious injury because Joe shot her assailant and knocked off his aim. “Okay, fine, she’s the leader, but how is she supposed to lead us if she’s _dead_?”

Nicky’s face betrays absolutely nothing. Nile’s already noticed he’s good at that; she’s lost count of how many hands of poker he’s won on game nights, and she still can’t clock how he’s doing it. “You would have to ask her,” is all he has to say. Joe is, similarly, no help. When Nile texts Booker with a slightly abbreviated version of the same rant (she has his number; when she asked if anyone objected to her keeping in touch with him, she received three identical shrugs in response) he just texts back, “yeah, good luck with that.”

Useless, all of them.

It’s bound to come to a head eventually, if for no other reason than Nile’s rapidly running out of patience and willingness to follow Andy’s rules. More than once, she’s dragged Andy out of the line of fire, shouting at her all the way about what a damn fucking idiot she’s being, only for Andy to wait her out and respond with nothing but a cool look and an, “are you done?” If she doesn’t get killed on a mission, Nile’s going to kill her herself.

When it does come to a head, it’s not actually on a mission – it’s during the planning stage. They’re all seated in the living room, spread out across couches and armchairs (Joe and Nicky side-by-side on the couch, Nile sitting upright and cross-legged on the armchair, Andy standing before them) while Andy runs down the plan. It’s a medium-dangerous job by their standards – the guys they’re going up against aren’t professionals, but they are heavily armed, and their lack of training will make them especially trigger-happy. They’re also sitting on a warehouse full of even more guns, which is a problem. Nile drums her fingers against her left knee as Andy speaks.

“Five outside, three inside,” she says. “The ones outside will be easy enough to disarm, they’ve only got one automatic apiece. The inside guards are going to be harder, because they can always go for the crates, so we’ll need to make sure they’re out of commission completely. I’ll take the lead on the warehouse, Nile you’re with me – “

“No.”

Andy stops. Blinks. “Excuse me?” It’s said in a tone of voice that warns of immediate danger if Nile doesn’t shut her trap right this second. Too bad.

“I said no.” Nile leans forward. “I’m not letting you take lead on a dangerous op with five armed gun-runners and a warehouse full of weapons. That’s stupid.”

“Oh,” Andy says deliberately. “ _Really_.” Her tone is getting more dangerous by the second. “Nile, it’s been a long time since I worked with the military. Do they not teach the concept of _chain of command_ these days?”

“They do,” Nile says. “But, _as you told me_ , I’m not in the military anymore and you’re not my CO. I’m not going to follow bad orders for no reason except that you’re not willing to admit – “

Nicky – who, along with Joe, has been following this conversation like a ping-pong match – stands up abruptly, dragging Joe with him. “We’ll be in the kitchen,” he says, and they’re both out of there so fast Nile’s surprised they don’t leave little dust balls in their wake. Cowards.

Andy crosses the room and leans over Nile’s chair. Looms over it, more like. “Nile.” Her voice still has not risen; it might sound less scary if it did. “I am not dead yet – “

“Not for lack of trying!”

“-and until I am,” she carries on as if Nile hadn’t said anything, “I am in charge of this fucking operation and every other fucking operation we go on. Is that understood?”

“No, it’s not.” Nile stands up so fast it knocks Andy off her rhythm, and she takes a step backwards. “I don’t understand at all, actually. You keep actively putting yourself in danger when there’s three of us who could be taking lead, and for whatever bullshit ego reason you won’t back down. You’re going to get yourself _killed_!” On that last word, her voice jumps several decibels. “And maybe you’re fine with that for whatever reason, but I’m not, okay? I’m not, and I’m not just going to stand by and let you do it!”

She means for it to come out strong. It doesn’t. Her voice cracks in several places, wobbles in others, and what was intended to be a triumphant finish winds up sounding more like a whimper. Also, her eyes betray her by choosing that exact moment to fill up with tears that she can’t quite blink away.

Of course, Andy notices. “Nile,” she says, taking Nile by both shoulders. “I’ve been at this a long time. I know what I’m doing.”

Nile takes several deep breaths, trying to get her breathing under control. “Could’ve fooled me,” she says once she’s more or less managed it. Her voice still comes out croakier than she’d like. “I might not be able to stop you getting yourself killed, but don’t ask me to help you do it, because I won’t.” She managed to hang onto a few vestiges of self-control right up until the end, when her voice starts to wobble again. Fuck. So much for making her point.

Andy doesn’t say anything for what feels like a long time (it’s probably just a minute, tops) but she doesn’t move, either. Just keeps standing there, toe-to-toe with Nile, doing – what? Waiting? Nile can’t tell. She also doesn’t have anything more to say, and wouldn’t trust herself to say it even if she did, so she keeps her mouth shut.

When Andy speaks again her voice is gentle and oh _fuck_ , that’s not _fair_. Gentle and quiet and Nile can’t take this, she really can’t. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes, you are,” Nile says, because that’s an unkeepable promise and they both know it. “Sooner or later. I’m just trying to stop it from being sooner.” It’s the closest she can come to actually saying, _I’m scared of losing you_ , which is what’s actually at the back of her mind. It’s not fucking fair; it’s not fair to the whole group but it’s also, selfishly, not fair to Nile who lost absolutely everyone she cared about and now has just three people – and she’s going to lose one of them, too.

Andy takes Nile’s chin in her hand, like she did on the plane but infinitely gentler. Her thumb presses against the spot just under Nile’s jawline where the knife that killed her the first time sliced into her skin. No scarring, of course, but Nile remembers and she’s pretty sure Andy does too. They all have scars from before their first deaths, but Andy is the only one accumulating new ones – a nick on her cheek here, a knot of puckered skin on her shoulder there. Nile can’t stand to look at them, but she also can’t ever make herself look away.

“Yeah, sure,” Andy allows. “Eventually.” Her thumb stays where it is, pressed against Nile’s pulse point. Nile’s sure she can feel her heart speeding up, but she doesn’t give any sign. “But I’m not going to stop in my tracks just to try and avoid it. It’s a shitty way to live, Nile.”

“I’m not asking – “ Her voice is threatening to betray her. Nile takes a deep breath, swallows, and tries again. “I’m not asking you to _stop_. I’m just asking you to be _careful_. You can’t just – keep going on like you did before, like nothing’s changed.”

Once again, Andy’s answer comes slowly. When it does, it just about knocks Nile over. “So you want me to put you at risk instead?”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Nile says, an involuntary exhale. Because she’s not the one at risk at all – if she gets shot, what’s the worst that happens? Andy said herself that first night, she’s too young for her immortality to wear off. Death is a pain in the ass and an inconvenience, but it’s not permanent for her like it will be for Andy. But Andy’s the one worried about looking out for her.

It’s stupid. It’s – _incredible_. She really is going to cry.

Andy puts her free hand around the back of Nile’s neck and draws her in. For a wild second, Nile thinks she’s about to kiss her, and her heart surges up in her chest, but no – she just bumps their foreheads together. Probably for the best, but Nile still feels the adrenaline building up in her system, practically oozing out of her pores. Her pulse is a lost cause.

“I know what I’m doing.” They’re so close, Andy’s breath is warm on Nile’s face. “I know what my limits are. You’ve got to trust me on that one.”

“I trust _you_ ,” Nile retorts with some difficulty. “I don’t trust _bullets_.”

Andy laughs. Her fingers are rubbing up and down the nape of Nile’s neck. “Well then you have to trust that I know more than bullets do, okay? I’ve been dealing with them for a long time.”

“I know that,” Nile says. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Andy laughs again. “That’s life for you,” she says. “Sucks, but you get used to it.”

And then – holy shit – she actually does kiss Nile. Just a tiny, brief brush of lips, but it’s unmistakeable. This is – too much. It’s all too much. Nile is going to scream, or pass out, or both.

(It does occur to her that she’s being played. But sue her for enjoying it anyway, okay? She’ll take what she can get.)

“Fine,” she says when Andy draws back. “But you still have to wear the armor. Non-negotiable.”

Andy quicks an eyebrow. “That so?”

“Yeah.” Nile stares at her, determined to be the first to break. And she isn’t; Andy looks away first, smiling ruefully. “Fine. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Nile smiles at that. She could almost call it a grin. “Well, that’s life.”


End file.
